Oh, yours is so pretty! Lucy/Caspian was my first Narnia pairing, waaaay back when.
I guess I read the original story differently. I sort of looked at it as--this is such a meaningless encounter for her, but on the other hand, her life gets totally derailed very soon afterward, so maybe it was this wrapped up potential instead of love--you know, the last night she was a person to a man, the last night she was loved (not in the romantic sense, but with her parents there) and had the world spread out in front of her, and that's why she remembers it. In my experience anyway, it's the ones that got away that I think about nostalgically, even though at the time they weren't so important. But you miss--not so much them, but who you were back then, what you might have been if you'd taken a different road.
This is so pretty--you've kept to the structure most of the way but there's less of the disconnect, and I *love* your opening line.
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Date: 2010-05-02 07:02 pm (UTC)I guess I read the original story differently. I sort of looked at it as--this is such a meaningless encounter for her, but on the other hand, her life gets totally derailed very soon afterward, so maybe it was this wrapped up potential instead of love--you know, the last night she was a person to a man, the last night she was loved (not in the romantic sense, but with her parents there) and had the world spread out in front of her, and that's why she remembers it. In my experience anyway, it's the ones that got away that I think about nostalgically, even though at the time they weren't so important. But you miss--not so much them, but who you were back then, what you might have been if you'd taken a different road.
This is so pretty--you've kept to the structure most of the way but there's less of the disconnect, and I *love* your opening line.