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metonomia: (so many regrettable things)
[personal profile] metonomia
This is the fault of:
1. the three sentence ficathon
2. the movie Dead Ringers
3. cally

also it is entirely unbetaed and unedited and crap. novakcest feelings yeaaaaah

on the separation of twins. (276 words, novakcest, pre-MIT)

These are the instruments for the separation of twins: doubts, fears, desires.  Distance and proximity.  They stifle each other all through the long summer.  Jacob flees the house, leaves Jimmy and Amelia with the air-conditioning and freezer-pops, with their room.  The further he walks from the house, the more he thinks of Jimmy.

"What if I kissed your girlfriend?" He asks that night after he's come back, bare feet muddy and bruised, sweaty and refusing to shower until he's gotten a rise out of Jimmy.  "What if I pretended to be you - I can, you know it - and kissed your girlfriend one day, and she never knew the difference?"
Jimmy punches him, of course.  It's a different kind of closeness, sure, but he'll take any touch he can get.

When they're leaning against each other later, half of Jacob's dirt spread to Jimmy, their blood which is the same smudging lips and hands and noses, the old worry sets in.  The old desire.
"What if they switched us?" It's Jimmy, of course.  He thinks he's in a good place these days.  Amelia, school, God.  He likes himself, most of the time.  Jacob likes Jimmy, too.
"Dude, does it really matter?"

But it does.  If Jacob is Jimmy and Jimmy is Jacob, what does it mean.  Does it make them more different or more the same.  Does one Novak twin's name make him different from his brother?  They are still the twins. They are each other.  If the boy with the girlfriend is supposed to be named Jacob, and Jacob is the boy who wants his brother, which desire wins? 

Jimmy shifts away from him. 
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Kat

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