She Maintained This Estate
Mar. 1st, 2010 10:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
metonomia I got super inspired today in my art history class looking at baroque art, especially various paintings of Judith killing Holofernes - namely, Caravaggio's and the series done by Artemisia Gentileschi. Since it's not like I have tons of other stuff that I ought to be writing, I went and wrote this 2000-word piece in a few hours, and then realized the dialogue was weak and inconsistent, the style was fluctuating too wildly between my normal one and my attempt to sort of emulate the biblical narrative, and while I am so pleased with the idea, I just was not liking how the story was turning out. So I cut it down to a more stylized, way shorter ficlet and I'm just going to put it here rather than on ff.net. Perhaps I'll be able to return and flesh it out another time.
She Maintained This Estate
AU Narnia ficlet, set approximately during HHB.
Susan feels her sister's eyes fastened upon her as the Gentle Queen wafts about the room, collecting a vial of perfume here and a precious ornament there. Lucy does not approve of her plan, but Susan feigns a calm utterly at odds with her pounding heart and tries to prove her own confidence. She steps into her richest gown and brushes the scented oil into her hair, letting it flow loose and alluring down her back, setting her golden crown atop her head. The jewelry comes next, and though Susan has never needed to pray in Narnia she finds that her mind is a pool of babbled pleas to Aslan, to a long-forgotten and nameless God from...before, to anyone who can help her as she binds golden chains about her wrists and cinches a rope of pearls around her neck.
"You don't have to do this," Lucy murmurs, but Susan shakes her head and kisses her sister's cheek silently before gliding from the room.
Peter and Edmund wait with her horse, and Peter helps her to mount, holding tightly to her hand and to the reins, desperate to make her stay.
"I have to do this," she tells him, and he finally steps away, allowing her to touch Edmund's head in farewell before collecting herself and setting off.
She rides in silence, crossing through the mountains in the next dawn's gray light and fording the river as the sun rises, so that she arrives at the edge of the desert in the highest heat of the day. The outriders are upon her immediately, swords flashing directly into her eyes, and she scrambles for a bow she does not carry before remembering her purpose and raising her hands in surrender. When they bring her to Rabadash's tent, crowding around her with lustful eyes and wandering hands, she finds herself praying again, sure she will be unable to face the Calormene prince and equally sure that she must.
He laughs.
"Susan of Narnia." His voice caresses her name, a snake winding its way gently around its victim, and she shudders to remember a time when she felt warmed and cherished by his attentions.
"Oh Prince," she begins to weave the lie, "I have come to give myself up to you, so that there need be no war between our lands."
"Nothing can stop my armies now that we are on our way, not even the beauty of a barbarian queen, but because you have come, you may live to be my wife, though I will exact my price for your earlier betrayal in the blood of your brothers and sister."
She is not surprised, but as she is taken to another tent to rest and to be guarded from escape, she cannot help but envision how his armies might crash upon Cair Paravel, a wave of swords and blood swallowing all she loves, and the tears she lets fall to maintain her mask are more real than she cares to admit, even to herself.
He calls for her that evening, to sit with him during his banquet and to stay with him through the night. Despite all his anger at how she has refused him, Rabadash of Calormen is a man, and he is a greedy man, and he is quite nearly undone by Susan's beauty. She plays at submission, letting him pet her hair and pouring him wine, and when he dismisses everyone but her she is ready. There are more tears, a struggle, and then he is asleep, drunk on strong wine and victory. She waits.
When she is certain that he is deep in the grasp of slumber, Susan stirs, tying her torn dress around her body and moving over to where his scimitar rests beside the bed, waiting to bathe in the blood of innocent Narnians. She picks it up and tests the edge against her thumb, smiling coldly at the dark blood that wells up and moving swiftly on silent feet to stand beside him. Drawing upon all her strength and that of her siblings, she swings the sword once, twice.
Susan the Gentle emerges from the tent with Rabadash's head wrapped in a cloak. She ghosts to the edge of the camp and finds her horse, and mounting up she throws caution to the wind and dashes from the Calormene camp in bruised and broken victory.
She laughs.
---------
Well. There it is. The title is coming from Judith 8:7-8, which says of the heroine, "She was beautiful in appearance and very lovely to behold. Her husband Manasseh had left her gold and silver, men and women slaves, livestock and fields; and she maintained this estate. No one spoke ill of her, for she feared God with great devotion." Totally Susan, right? Except that people speak ill of Susan all the time, and I really wish they wouldn't.
The funny thing is that when I saw the paintings I was struck more by the similarity to what I see Lucy as, but then my mind went to Susan and this sort of darkish AU thing where she feels she has to save Narnia from Rabadash and does so by pulling a Judith and doing a seduce-and-behead to Rabadash.
Thoughts, comments, anything would be appreciated.
She Maintained This Estate
AU Narnia ficlet, set approximately during HHB.
Susan feels her sister's eyes fastened upon her as the Gentle Queen wafts about the room, collecting a vial of perfume here and a precious ornament there. Lucy does not approve of her plan, but Susan feigns a calm utterly at odds with her pounding heart and tries to prove her own confidence. She steps into her richest gown and brushes the scented oil into her hair, letting it flow loose and alluring down her back, setting her golden crown atop her head. The jewelry comes next, and though Susan has never needed to pray in Narnia she finds that her mind is a pool of babbled pleas to Aslan, to a long-forgotten and nameless God from...before, to anyone who can help her as she binds golden chains about her wrists and cinches a rope of pearls around her neck.
"You don't have to do this," Lucy murmurs, but Susan shakes her head and kisses her sister's cheek silently before gliding from the room.
Peter and Edmund wait with her horse, and Peter helps her to mount, holding tightly to her hand and to the reins, desperate to make her stay.
"I have to do this," she tells him, and he finally steps away, allowing her to touch Edmund's head in farewell before collecting herself and setting off.
She rides in silence, crossing through the mountains in the next dawn's gray light and fording the river as the sun rises, so that she arrives at the edge of the desert in the highest heat of the day. The outriders are upon her immediately, swords flashing directly into her eyes, and she scrambles for a bow she does not carry before remembering her purpose and raising her hands in surrender. When they bring her to Rabadash's tent, crowding around her with lustful eyes and wandering hands, she finds herself praying again, sure she will be unable to face the Calormene prince and equally sure that she must.
He laughs.
"Susan of Narnia." His voice caresses her name, a snake winding its way gently around its victim, and she shudders to remember a time when she felt warmed and cherished by his attentions.
"Oh Prince," she begins to weave the lie, "I have come to give myself up to you, so that there need be no war between our lands."
"Nothing can stop my armies now that we are on our way, not even the beauty of a barbarian queen, but because you have come, you may live to be my wife, though I will exact my price for your earlier betrayal in the blood of your brothers and sister."
She is not surprised, but as she is taken to another tent to rest and to be guarded from escape, she cannot help but envision how his armies might crash upon Cair Paravel, a wave of swords and blood swallowing all she loves, and the tears she lets fall to maintain her mask are more real than she cares to admit, even to herself.
He calls for her that evening, to sit with him during his banquet and to stay with him through the night. Despite all his anger at how she has refused him, Rabadash of Calormen is a man, and he is a greedy man, and he is quite nearly undone by Susan's beauty. She plays at submission, letting him pet her hair and pouring him wine, and when he dismisses everyone but her she is ready. There are more tears, a struggle, and then he is asleep, drunk on strong wine and victory. She waits.
When she is certain that he is deep in the grasp of slumber, Susan stirs, tying her torn dress around her body and moving over to where his scimitar rests beside the bed, waiting to bathe in the blood of innocent Narnians. She picks it up and tests the edge against her thumb, smiling coldly at the dark blood that wells up and moving swiftly on silent feet to stand beside him. Drawing upon all her strength and that of her siblings, she swings the sword once, twice.
Susan the Gentle emerges from the tent with Rabadash's head wrapped in a cloak. She ghosts to the edge of the camp and finds her horse, and mounting up she throws caution to the wind and dashes from the Calormene camp in bruised and broken victory.
She laughs.
---------
Well. There it is. The title is coming from Judith 8:7-8, which says of the heroine, "She was beautiful in appearance and very lovely to behold. Her husband Manasseh had left her gold and silver, men and women slaves, livestock and fields; and she maintained this estate. No one spoke ill of her, for she feared God with great devotion." Totally Susan, right? Except that people speak ill of Susan all the time, and I really wish they wouldn't.
The funny thing is that when I saw the paintings I was struck more by the similarity to what I see Lucy as, but then my mind went to Susan and this sort of darkish AU thing where she feels she has to save Narnia from Rabadash and does so by pulling a Judith and doing a seduce-and-behead to Rabadash.
Thoughts, comments, anything would be appreciated.
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no subject
Date: 2010-03-02 11:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-02 11:45 pm (UTC)I...almost hate certain aspects of this. I never thought I'd write Susan-the-raped-by-Rabadash, but it had to happen in order to fit it in with Judith's story (though I suppose it is technically debatable whether or not Judith actually slept with Holofernes), and, well, at least now Susan's free to go seek out a meaningful relationship without the fear of Rabadash looming over her.
Susan the most devout! Free Susan!
no subject
Date: 2010-03-02 11:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-02 11:57 pm (UTC)Empowerment, yes. The original had a whole scene with Lucy and, to a lesser extent, the kings insisting that they could not defeat the Calormenes alone and that they had to call on Aslan, and then Susan used a bastardization of Judith's speech to say that they shouldn't test their god and they had to use the strength he gave them to win for themselves, but it just didn't fit, even though it was quite empowering.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-02 01:34 pm (UTC)What a subtle, perfect execution! (I mean your writing, not the death of Rabadash. Well, that too.) The jewelry! The way she reaches for her bow! And... the submission. It's a very small line, done beautifully; "There are more tears, a struggle, and then he is asleep, drunk on strong wine and victory." Like Rth said, it has that emotive LJ quality that I adore, that works especially well in these circumstances. This is one those stories where I've been waiting to read it but didn't know it until now -- perhaps satisfying a fic itch I've had since reading The Red Tent years ago. The ancient feel here is exquisite. Susan's conflict, her duty, her coldness, the swords and blood and dancing... sigh. What a lovely piece.
In my head I often characterize Susan as the beautiful biblical queen, precisely because of HHB. Casting her as Judith is absolutely amazing and the writing really measures up. When you read this with Artemisia Gentileschi's paintings in mind it packs even more of a punch. LOVE her work. And yours. This was awesome.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-02 11:47 pm (UTC)(I love your pun.)
I totally didn't even think of The Red Tent - I really do need to go read that - but I'm glad it worked for you! I know you're a huge fan of that book so I'm feeling quite complimented in that regard.
YAY Artemisia! She and Susan need to get together and chat about how men rape them/write meanly about them and then their struggles to overcome the unfair accusations leveled against them.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-02 11:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-02 11:49 pm (UTC)Oh Susan. Freedom through captivity the only way to save her people? She'll do it!
no subject
Date: 2010-03-02 11:28 pm (UTC)There really is an extremely biblical feel to this whole thing (well, obviously, but it really comes through in more than just the allusions). And it's beautifully well done, beautiful and dark and understated.
And the last line: it just leaves you reeling. Bravo!
no subject
Date: 2010-03-02 11:52 pm (UTC)Biblical Susan is something I think has a lot of promise, not only in things like this warrior/judge/queen aspect but also in the fluctuations that the Bible goes through in how it views and treats women, which I think obviously fits Susan well. Funnily enough, when I cut this down from the original I took out a lot of my more specifically biblical writing, so it's kind of cool that the feel of it still came through.
Thank you thank you!!
no subject
Date: 2010-03-03 09:12 pm (UTC)The whole premise is quite fascinating, too, and I love that Susan prays, and that she "plays at submission". Oh Susan! her automatic reaching for her bow is heartbreaking, as is her dressing in her finest. I also love that Edmund is the only one we don't see trying to convince her to stay - him being aware of the necessity of it seems perfectly in character for him. lovely lovely work! :D
no subject
Date: 2010-03-03 09:22 pm (UTC)I honestly did not mean to have it be that Edmund was not trying to stop her because he understood the necessity, but I rather like that, so thanks for seeing it! :)
no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 10:35 am (UTC)EEEEE.
Wow, this is amazing, and I love the layers in it - and the understanding you have of Susan's political role and its strengths and dangers.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 08:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 09:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 09:55 pm (UTC)She just combines so many awesome characteristics into one super-woman.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 11:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 08:49 pm (UTC)Yeah, it wouldn't work for Lucy at all - she's not that sneaky/subtle/patient.